Over the last several months as I have had my ups and downs adjusting to the reality of a COVID world. I have consumed far too much “news.” As a result, I find myself wanting to be reactionary and express my thoughts on Twitter where I end up being too simplistic, short, or inflammatory ignoring the nuance, and condensing a feeling or thought to the appropriate character limit. I can do this because social media allows me to sit comfortably in my own worldview and defend my corner, launch attacks, and counter-attacks, but to what end? To have more people already entrenched in my view of the world to “follow me?” Or is it to make sure I am participating in global conversations and trending topics so that I have a greater chance of my profile being seen and perhaps gaining some subscribers on YouTube?

At no point in that strategy does anyone take the time to really listen to the concerns of another, or take a moment to try to see the world from their perspective. Most people are decent people who want what is best for their families and their communities. We may disagree on what that is, or by what methods we achieve those goals, but the differences that make it seem as though humans are vastly divided are negligible at best. As a species we want the same things, because we have evolved to need those things. Community, relationships, the feeling of safety for ourselves and our families, the dignity of work, and the security that should we fall on hard times, will will not be left alone in the face of adversity.

When something comes across my social feed that is carefully selected by the machines who curate it to get me to forget about whatever else I am doing in that moment long enough to respond and illicit the same reaction in another, and perhaps see a few ads along the way, I have to actively fight the reflexive urge built in my thumbs since 2008 to engage in a public shutdown of people I don’t know, and will never meet.

I haven’t yet built immunity to the impulse to post a reactionary comment based on something I see on Twitter, but nothing about these interactions feels good or productive. These platforms are actively working and learning how to get a reaction out of us, and the most inflammatory content will always be promoted to incite our need to defend our positions, and in doing so we continue the cycle and send positive reinforcement to the algorithms that what they are doing is working. So now I am being fed more videos with sensational headlines, more political punditry, and more hot takes.

I didn’t ask for this and I don’t want this. I don’t want to see cable news networks reporting on how their competition was doing their job. I want to hear the stories of people who see the world differently. I want for a second to feel the joys and pains of people who by some split of demographic, whether it be social, economic, ethnic or political are not entrenched in my camp.

It’s called empathy. It is a fundamental element of progress for our species and historically the way we have developed this skill is through story. Through sharing our experiences, our triumphs as well as our vulnerabilities, we have learned from one another and achieved great things. We learn nothing when we can’t humbly acknowledge that we have blinds spots, that nuance exists, or that our experience navigating modern life varies based on an infinite number of factors.

Social media was packaged as a way to have global conversations, but where is the “I’m listening” button on any of these platforms.

So let’s have an actual conversation. In this blog you will find no answers or conclusions. The only thing I can say with any certainty is that I know nothing. As such, I am listening.